Clive's Theory of Distractability

In my week "off" following ChaLEAN Extreme, I was feeling fat and sluggish, so I did some serious treadmill time.

I've never had huge success with the treadmill. Nevertheless, I own one now and use it occasionally. My problem is that since I decide when to start/stop, and what pace to go, I end up wimping out before I actually get a good workout. I've slowly started to pick up on something, though...

When I first began using the treadmill, I would watch a tiny TV, which didn't have a built-in guide, so I would have to guess what was on, and channel surf until I found something even remotely interesting. This was usually never, especially on Wednesdays when it was Tyler Perry's Wednesday nights with Tyler Perry on TBS. Treadmill-time was mostly torture and I couldn't wait to be finished.

More recently (since ownership of my own treadmill), I've had the opportunity to watch a larger, nicer TV with a DVR, so I could always record my own shows, and more-frequently find something I'd like to watch. Still, commercials proved problematic. I'd quickly come back to the realization that, dammit, I was on a treadmill and I'd either have to try to switch stations or fast-forward. I wanted something that I could escape into a little deeper.

Last week, I had a break-through... an awesome discovery, which I call "Clive's Theory of Distractability." C-ToD states:

"The greater extent to which one can distract one's self whilst exercising, the greater the resulting caloric burn."

My optimal element of distractability? Video games. It seems so obvious now that I can't believe I didn't think of it earlier. I get to choose the entertainment, so I'm not at the mercy of 3rd-party programing, and best of all, THERE ARE NO COMMERCIALS. I played all sorts of "New Super Mario Bros Wii" as well as emulated old-skool games, but, of course, you can pick your faves. Anything that doesn't involve substantial wii-mote pointing or movement works, otherwise your exercise might confuse the poor wii-mote. Also, I found it much easier to crank the treadmill up to a steep grade (20%) and just walk it instead of trying to run or jog.


Using this method, I was EASILY able to do away with 700 to 1000 calories/night. I did, however, stumble upon a corollary to C-ToD...

C-ToD Corollary 1: "Treadmill distraction can lead to over-use, and result in bruised feet."

Yes. Bruised feet. I have never - EVER - in my life even heard of bruised feet, much less had them... and, DAMN, do they hurt. If you happen to use your feet at all (which I'm guessing is 99.99% of the people who own treadmills) you're constantly stepping on your bruises, which not only KILLS, but it slows the healing process.

Regardless, I HIGHLY recommend the video game application of C-ToD to any nerd having trouble exercising. Even if you don't own a treadmill, I could see bringing a DS to the gym particularly successful. (BTW, is it bad that I'm tempted to buy a 3DS for the sake of playing "Mario Land 3D" only?)

So what's your optimal element of distraction? Do you have any further corollaries to the C-ToD?

Until next time, n3rds!

-Clive