Update: Aug 9th, 2012 -- Slow, Incremental Changes

It has been far too long since I last blogged. Shame on me. My goal going forward is one "serious" entry a month. With all my other projects going on, the F1t N3rd tends to fall to the bottom of my priority list. Not fitness/exercise itself, just blogging about fitness/exercise.

I think that's the nature of fitness for the layperson... Slow, incremental changes.

You can't do everything all at once. Trying to turn an unhealthy lifestyle completely 180 degrees (or Pi radians, or one half Tau) is a recipe for disaster.

Similarly, I can't blog about many things at once because I physically can't _DO_ many things at once. If I try a new regimen, it takes sometimes three months to complete it, or to notice the changes. That alone makes for a slow turn-around.

So here's what I've been up to:

Leading up to summer, I wanted to make good on my Six Sigma Goal to "increase ab-visibility by reaching a BF% of 10% by June 1st, 2012."

I focused mostly on my X2 - PAL (Physical Activity Level), with my first round of "Insanity: The Asylum, Vol 1" followed by a full run of "Insanity" (my 3rd round to-date).

My calculations put me at about 13% BF%, not quite the 10% I hoped for, but it's progress. I still have a bit of noticeable belly fat, but it's a far cry from where I used to be. Ab visibility is up. When flexing, I can see my top four abs (which, I admit, makes me a little giddy). After just two years of serious exercise, the guy in the mirror looks better than I had envisioned. I mean, not to sound like a narcissist, but I actually feel pretty good about my appearance. There's a first time for everything, I guess!

So what's next?

Well, I know I need to work more on strength training. I'm all bone and no meat. "Twig-like" is not the adjective I'm seeking. I'm also not looking for "rippling". Lean muscle is fine by me, so I've decided to do "Les Mills." And since I've had pretty good luck with BeachBody products, I don't see any reason why I shouldn't give their version of "Les Mills" a go. Except I'm going to modify everything for resistance bands. Should be an interesting experiment.

So........ I start Saturday!

Wish me luck!

-Clive

[REVIEW]: Hip Hop Abs -- Less of a Fatty, Part 2

(Originally written Thursday, May 19, 2011)

One of the greatest canards in the weight-loss-gimmick industry is that you can "spot-tone" an area. You can practically recite the infomercials in your sleep: "OMFG, the 'Ab-cinerator' will melt away my belly-fat & love-handles, giving me the flat, firm, sexy abs I've always wanted!!!" Sorry, your body doesn't work that way. You might be able to build muscle with that methodology, but fat loss is a completely different beast.

When exercising, your body requires energy (duh). Once you deplete what is readily available, your body starts looking to your fat deposits for energy. And it doesn't say, "I'm working out my abs, so I need to use fat from that region!" - that's just ridiculous. Your body has a hard-wired methodology for how it stores fat, and how it later retrieves it for reserve energy. The only way to get rid of belly fat is to reduce your total body fat.

I'm going to say that again:

**The only way to get rid of belly fat is to reduce your total body fat.**

And it makes sense. Have you ever seen anyone with a ripped chest and gelatenous thighs? No, of course not. For the most part if you're chunky somewhere, you're chunky everywhere. Or at least you're chunky enough to not have abs.

Nevertheless, I decided to do an "ab workout" with promises like those above. Why? Because, following Insanity, I wanted something a little lighter, and I had gotten used to Shaun T, so I figured I'd give his "Hip Hop Abs" regimen a try.



Seems legit.

My first concern (besides those voiced above) was that I hate hip hop. Luckily, the videos didn't contain any. The music was an edgy groove more than anything else. The closest thing to hip hop is when Shaun T raps in the beginning of each video. Yes, you read that correctly, Shaun T raps. The first time I experienced it, I had to find a chair so I could fall out of it laughing. By Day 5, the novelty had worn off, and by the end of the four weeks, I couldn't fast-forward through it fast enough.

The second thing I noticed was that Shaun T's character was considerably different from the Shaun T I remembered from Insanity. Surprisingly, he was quite flamboyant and flirty. While his antics are probably of no consequence to female partakers of HHA, I don't know many men who respond well to flirtation as a motivational technique, even from a female instructor. I'm willing to bet that most men respond best to hard encouragement, yelling and testosteral challenge. That's just how Y-chromosomes are programmed.

The more I did HHA, the more gender bias I noticed. The 'cast' was almost entirely female, save for a couple of brain-dead pieces of eye-candy in the back row. Now, I would consider myself very comfortable in my sexuality, and am fully capable of platonically appreciating another man's appearance... but doing HHA, while Shaun T is flirting with me and the brawny, shirtless mouth-breathers are prancing right and left... It more than subtly suggested that I was in the wrong place, doing the wrong workout. Nevertheless, I convinced myself to persist, thinking that if regimen as a whole was challenging and rewarding, I could learn to look past all that nonsense.

This, unfortunately, was not the case.

The workout itself was based around Shaun T's "three 'T's:" Tilt, Tuck & Tighten. They, of course, are in reference to your abs... I'm not quite sure where the 'tilt' comes in, but I guess three of something always make a better slogan, so I can give it a pass. Learning to continually contract and breathe with my abs was the most difficult challenge. Until I finally started getting it (which took about a week) I didn't have very fulfilling workouts.

Hip Hop Abs, as I mentioned earlier, is four weeks long. There are four DVDs with four 30-ish minute-workouts which comprise the core regimen. Also included is a full-fledged dance routine, and a five-minute workout. The first week keeps it simple, featuring just two workouts staggered throughout the week, one per day. As the program goes on, the remaining workouts are folded in, and eventually stacked multiple workouts per day. With only four very similar workouts, HHA gets stale pretty quickly and by the start of the third week, I was already bored.

This is a fairly easy regimen with a difficulty appropriate for absolute beginners and incredibily limited scalability for the more-seasoned. And, guys, so long as you are firm in your masculinity, you can do it too, though the workout is clearly not aimed at you.

By far, the greatest take-away is the core control. It's the hidden gem inside this otherwise bland set of videos and has brought a huge benefit to my later workouts, even beyond HHA. It was also nice to see some of the exercises that became the basis of Insanity's Cardio Abs and Insane Abs routines.

Is it going to shred your mid-section? No. But it will get your feet wet to modest exercise and help you gain control of your core, which is an extremely valuable skill to attain and use in your future fitness endeavors.

-Clive

Less of a Fatty, Part 0 - Insanity (the first time)
Less of a Fatty, Part 1 - Getting Started

[REVIEW]: P90X and why it's not for me -- Less of a Fatty

Heya n3rds!


I know it's been a couple months, but I'm still here to make you feel guilty about not working out more often. Hey... If you're anything like me, you respond well to guilt. By staring at you judgingly as you eat yet ANOTHER Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, I'm only doing you a favor. I mean, what are you thinking? That's going straight to your gelatinous thighs, you fatty. No wait, I'm talking about me again...

Where was I going with this?

Oh yeah, P90X. I did it - well, most of it - and I'm ready to give y'all an update.

--The Gist:--

The program is three months long, where each month is four weeks of a mixed weight-training and cardio regimen. In a nutshell, days 1, 3, and 5 are for weights, and the others are for that cardio-centric & recovery stuff.

For the weight training, you will need a pull-up bar and some sort of resistance. (I'm using - and recommend - resistance bands.) There's no real special trick to these workouts, but Tony Horton will tell you right away: If you're going for size, choose a weight that you can hit 8 to 10 reps before failure. If you're going for lean, aim for 12 to 15 reps. If you get to 15 and you can keep going, you picked a wimpy weight. You should probably being thinking less about your next Peanut Butter Cup and more about getting in shape. Fatty.



Impressive.



Also, there are pull-ups. If you've never done pull-ups, you're in for a fricken treat. Unless you're some sort of freak of nature, you won't be able to do many (or any) right out of the gate, so you'll likely need a chair for assistance. It's marginally better than doing knee-push-ups, as you can move the chair farther away to increase the difficulty. BUT. Always try to do as many as you can without the chair first. It may decrease your overall number of reps, but you'll accomplish much more. Consider yourself Pro-Tipped.

And there are a bunch of push-ups, of course! All sorts of em, in all sorts of positions and speeds. This means that if you have weak or pain-prone wrists, I highly recommend investing in push-up bars. In addition to the increased depth of your push-ups, you'll be able to relieve some of the discomfort that comes from pressing off a solid surface with your hands cranked at an awkward 90-degree angle.

Each Resistance Training workout is followed by Ab-Ripper X. It is TOUGH. I still can't get through it 100%, even with the easiest modifications. But as Tony Horton says, "Just do your best, and forget the rest."

So those are the weight-training days, which leaves, Day 2 - Plyometrics, Day 4 - Yoga, Day 6 - "Kenpo", and Day 7, which is either Stretch or Rest depending on whether you can tolerate consecutive weeks of non-stop exercise. Plyo is probably the closest you'll find to an Insanity-style cardio workout, except it's far less intense. Far, far less. I wouldn't call myself disappointed, but it's just not as rewarding as I'd like. What I really mean is that I hate cardio so much, that I'd rather suffer worse for a shorter period and just get it fricken over with.

The Yoga workout in P90X is 90 minutes long. I don't know about you, but that's way too freaking long. Besides, by mid-week, I'm ready for an easier day. So I've been breaking Yoga into three roughly half-hour chunks. Together with the warm-up and cool-down chunks, it still ends up being about 45-minutes. By a couple weeks into the program, I came to require this concession. Since I still felt accomplished enough after doing these shorter sessions, I have no regrets about doing it this way.



Kapow!

 Then there's Kenpo. This quickly became my favorite of the weekly workouts. It's a martial-arts-inspired cardio-kick-boxing workout, and it's about completely opposite to a Billy Blanks/Tae Bo atrocity as you could imagine. Kenpo manages to maintain a suitable intensity without getting all ape-excrement crazy on you. When you're done, you might feel just as centered as if you finished a session of Yoga - no joke. It's that good.

(There is no dog-kicking in Kenpo.)

By the time I got to Day 7, I was ready for a day off, so blew off every single "X Stretch" workout, except for those during the recovery weeks. In all honesty, it's pretty forgettable. If you're really inflexible, you should probably do it, but I'm not going to pull your arm.

--What I liked:--

I liked doing something that resembled "real" strength training. Having an ache in my pecs the next day was something I've never felt before... and was strangely rewarding for a guy who has no pecs.

--What I didn't like:--

1) Tony Horton as a trainer: He seems like a pretty laid back guy, which at first, I admit, I liked. It was a refreshing change from Chalene and Shaun T., who basically just jump around and scream at you. Slowly but surely, however, Tony's blazé attitude made me start feeling a little too casual about the workouts.

 
Here's what I want from a "coach." I want someone who is laid back enough to not take working out too seriously, but once I've hit play, I've granted full permission to kick my ass. "Do your best and forget the rest" is all rainbows & hugs, and in the exercise world, doesn't drive real results. The object of working out is surpassing what you think your best is.

2) I hesitate to add this, but Tony Horton as a personality: Tony has incredibly lame "dad-jokes" and some other really *odd* sayings (many of which are immortalized in these memes). Now, in day-to-day life, I enjoy lame jokes and quirky remarks here and there, but it's not something I ever want during a workout. These mannerisms quickly become annoying, if not straight-out uncomfortable. And speaking of uncomfortable, Tony needs to _stop_ hitting on Dreya Webber, thank you.

3) Lack of workout variety: Each unique strength training workout is introduced at some point during the first two months. Moreover, the non-strength days see NO VARIETY during all three months. This is a huge problem! Not only is the "muscle confusion" philosophy (to which the program allegedly subscribes) largely ignored, but it's easy get _really_ bored doing Plyo every Tuesday for thirteen weeks. I was suffering to get to day 60, so when I looked at the Month 3 schedule and saw nothing new, that was the moment I decided I was done with P90X.

4) The length of the workouts: I'm a rip-the-band-aid-off sort of guy. That's why I like the Insanity workouts. 40 minutes of hellish exercise and then I'm done. I don't have time to mess around. I know crap like stretching and Yoga are important in a holistic workout sense, but I can barely carve out half an hour for a workout, much less three times that.

--P90X isn't for everyone:--

Now, I don't mean to imply that P90X is a bad or ineffective workout. What I think it comes down to is a fundamental difference in fitness philosophies. P90X is clearly aimed at people who love to work out ("fitnophiles," as I call them). I don't love working out. I love the results of working out. I love the feeling of completing a hard workout. But when I'm working out, the only thing on my mind is how I'd rather be doing anything else... like swimming in Garbage Compactor 3263827 with my friend, the Dianoga.

So when I look back at the four dislikes I listed above and try to think like a fitnophile, I do see the allure of P90X.

I mean, Tony... he's a good, light-hearted guy. He's not just doing something he loves. You can tell he's sharing a passion of his with others who love it just as much as he does. When he says, "do your best and forget the rest" the people out there who love to work out will be inspired to actually do their best. When it comes to exercise, my brain will tell my body stop at the slightest adversity, which is why I need someone crazy like Shaun T. to keep telling me that I can do better.

Good call.

When I look at the repetitiveness and length of P90X workouts, they too are things that are right up the alley of someone who loves to work out. As someone who doesn't cherish my time spent working out, I need a practical reason to interrupt my evenings with physical labor. Unless I'm getting the most out of the time spent, it's hard to justify it. If the routine is repetitive and boring, how can I possibly convince myself to do the same freaking thing next week?

When it came down to it, I couldn't. That's why I eventually stopped P90X in favor of Insanity: The Asylum, and with much satisfaction (more on that in another entry).

--The Final Word:--

So if you love to work out, and you want to have fun with people who also love working out, P90X is made for you. If you're passionate about getting started weight training, sure, give P90X a try. If you are like me, however, and you want to get down to business, bust your ass, and be done, you might find P90X to be a bit too repetitive, and exaggerated.

This isn't to say that P90X won't get you results. You'll certainly feel the after-effects of a good-hard strength training workout, and maybe even notice a discernible change in your physique in a relatively short amount of time.

For me, I'm hoping I can still find value in P90X, perhaps in the form of a hybrid P90X/Insanity regimen. As I continue to approach my ideal BF%, I'd like to continue with more strength training, but I need shorter, harder-hitting sessions, intermixed with some kick-you-in-the-pants cardio.

That will be my next project, so stay tuned!

-Clive

P90X Update: Driving me... INSANE

This update is long overdue, but nevertheless, here it is.

At about 60-"days" (workouts) in, I stopped doing P90X. I got to the point where I wasn't motivated by the workouts anymore, and I wasn't able to get myself working out as frequently as I'd like/need to.

So instead, I finally picked up "Insanity Asylum Vol1," and am nearly two weeks in. It's going well.

P90X review right around the corner...

-Clive

[NERD ALERT] Clive at Five's Most Anticipated Games of 2012

This year's list is a complete and utter cop-out and I'm sorry. I'll explain why I say that at the end, but for now let's get to the games!


5) Prison Architect - Introversion Software

Either Introversion is a completely amazing Indie game studio, or I'm just a shameless IV fanboy. I'm starting to think the latter. After last year's #3 pick, Subversion, got placed on hold, I was pretty upset. I know, delays happen _all the time_ with Indie studios, but I've been drooling over whatever little scraps of the game I could get my hands on for about 6 years. So maybe I'm just heartbroken and looking for something to fill the void, and maybe Prison Architect is just another pretty face, but boy am I intrigued!



(video)
Few facts are known about Prison Architect, but how can I resist something that looks like an evil SimCity? I SIMply can't. Bahahahaha.


For the complete list, read on!

Six Sigma Fitness: Project Y and X's (Measure, Part 1)

You know, I liked the idea of turning fitness into a six-sigma project, so I'm going to carry this through.

Last time, I worked on setting a "S.M.A.R.T." goal:

"I want increase ab-visibility by reaching a BF% of 10% by June 1st, 2012."

In a typical Six Sigma project, this Goal Statement would have been preceded by a "Problem Statement," which I didn't spend any time on, mainly because we all implicitly know the problem statement: Poor diet and exercise habits increase one's likelihood of developing a number of health complications, it limits us in physical ways, it shortens our lives, etc. It's pretty much a no-brainer, but I did want to at least acknowledge that it's a critical step in the Six Sigma process. Without a problem, there's no reason to pursue a solution. And since we're all being constantly bombarded with the warnings of unhealthy diet and exercise, I felt it unescesary to go into that detail on the subject.

The Problem Statement leads us to our Goal Statement, and then the Goal Statement leads us to the next component of our Six Sigma journey: the "Predictive Equation" and our "Project Y". The Project Y is the result that we would like to achieve. For me, it's a Lower Body Fat %. The Predictive Equation expresses that our Y is a function of a number of Xs.

Y = f ( X1, X2, X3, X4 ...) 

hahaha.... I think they meant *too

To any non-n3rds who may be reading, DON'T WORRY! It's not nearly as scary as it looks! All it means is that the Xs are the predominant factors that determine the outcome of our Y. As we will find out in the following example, sometimes your Xs can be functions of yet more precise Xs, but that won't make your formula any more complicated.

-- Identifying the Xs --

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that the formula for weight loss is "diet and exercise," but that's rather vague, and can mean different things to different people. What is really meant by "diet and exercise" is maintaining a healthy calorie deficit. Simply put, we want to burn more calories in a day than we ingest. If you eat a lot, you have to burn a lot. Some people may burn a lot of calories without exercise, while others need to run a mile if they happen to glance at a danish.

What it all comes down to is Metabolism - specifically, having one that burns those calories faster than you can shovel them in.

-- Metabolism's Four Components --

Metabolism, as we understand it today, has four components:

1) Resting Metabolic Rate (RMR) - This is the energy required by your body to keep itself functioning. If you spent an entire day in bed, not moving, you'd still burn a remarkable number of calories. Sounds pretty nice, doesn't it? Here's the best part: Your RMR makes up between 50% and 75% of your daily caloric burn!

2) Physical Activity Level (PAL) - Good old-fashioned exercise... or any movement at all, really. When you contract your muscles, they demand energy, and that burns calories. So whether it's running on the treadmill, or getting up from the sofa to walk to the fridge to stuff your face, at least you're burning something in the process! PAL can account for 10% - 30% of your daily calories burned.

3) Thermic Effect of Feeding (TEF) - Speaking of stuffing your face, you'll be happy to hear that the process of eating burns calories! Each food differs, but some foods are easy to digest and others are difficult. Combine that with low-calorie-foods like celery, and you'll actually have a net-negative calorie-intake from eating it. TEF burns between 5% and 15% of your daily calories.


4) Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis (NEAT) - Very simply, involuntary motion... fidgeting! While fidgeting seems to be something you either have or you don't, it only accounts for about 5% of your total caloric burn, so getting yourself wired up on caffeine pills isn't exactly recommended. And not just for NEAT reasons...

So now we've identified four Xs to effect change on our Y!

Y = f ( X1, X2, X3, X4) 

where: 

X1 = Resting Metabolic Rate (RMR)
X2 = Physical Activity Level (PAL)
X3 = Thermic Effect of Feeding (TEF)
X4 = Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis (NEAT)


In Part 2 of Measure, we'll take a closer look at these four components of Metabolism, identify which factors to manipulate, and determine how to go about doing so.


Until next time, n3rds!


-Clive


(For more information on the four components of metabolism, see "The Four Components Of Metabolism" on woldfitness.com. It's a pretty great site too!)

I'm not a copy-(lol)cat...

I recently stumbled across nerdfitness.com and what can I say? It's a fantastic site. In fact, it's everything I had hoped this site would become. I should've probably expected that some other brilliant nerd would beat me to the punch.


Now, I as much as I would like to pretend the aforementioned site doesn't exist, I have to do the right thing and try to openly coexist with nerdfitness and in the meantime acknowledge their vast superiority.


In my defense, however, this blog is still a pupa in a state of metamorphosis, much like my journey and insight into the world of health & fitness. I'll no doubt glean some information from nerdfitness, which will invariably find its way into these pages, but I will absolutely strive for unique articles, a unique voice, and a unique audience who will love me despite not being the ORIGINAL fit nerd. 8-)


And now, my favorite lolcat of the week:

Let's see Mr. Nerdfitness do THAT!


-Clive

P90X: I still have a pulse (First Impressions)

Heya, n3rds!


As was my intent following ChaLEAN Extreme, I started P90X last week.

First impressions: For weights, it's very challenging. For Cardio, it not the hardest workout DVD on the market.


The thing about weights, though, is that you have to decide what weights to (try to) lift. If you don't challenge yourself, you don't get results. With Cardio, it's a lot easier to say, "just keep moving, just keep moving, just keep moving..." and only stop when you're actually going to collapse.


In other news, I need to clean up my diet. I "accidentally" ate a lot of chips last night. And it was pretty much right before I went to bed.


Fail


-Clive

Six Sigma Fitness: Goals (Define)

It recently occurred to me that I don't have very well-definited fitness goals. I mean, I started this blog to "keep myself accountable," but that alone is not enough. What am I doing? Just working out?

-- The importance of setting goals: --

"In absence of clearly defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily acts of trivia." - Unknown

Recently, I've been working out without a purpose. That's a pretty bad idea. Most people require a measure of success to keep themselves motivated to achieve... otherwise, why the hell would you work out?

Pfft, let me stop you fitnophiles before you even start... I'm talking to the people who, like me, DON'T enjoy working out, who DON'T thrive off the endorphin rush, and have to practically coerce themselves into doing anything that remotely resembles physical activity. Some of us need a reason to interrupt our otherwise comfortable existence to sweat, ache, and stink. Sounds baffling, I know...

-- What makes a good goal? --


I recently took a set of Six Sigma classes. (Six Sigma is essentially a methodology for thorough problem-solving, which is only vaguely applicable to actual day-to-day work, but that's another story.)

Six Sigma puts substantial emphasis on goal-setting, using the "S.M.A.R.T." mnemonic:

S - Specific: addresses the "Who, What, Where, Why, Which"
M - Measureable: establishes concrete criteria for measuring progress
A - Attainable: ensures that your goal is within reach

R - Relevant: ensures that pursuing this goal is a worthwhile allocation of resources

T - Time-bound: sets a time-frame to establish a sense of urgency and accountability

Is anyone else not *that* surprised there's a Six Sigma lolcat?

 -- I'll be the guinea pig... --


I'll use myself as an example. I know I have the potential for abs, so I could make that my goal - it's Attainable, but neither Specific nor Measurable. I know I have to get rid of that old "stubborn belly fat" but there are a million different goals I could set to try to tackle that. What makes the most sense?


Strictly speaking, I want to reduce inches around my waist, but that's really only a partial solution (not Relevant). I want to lose fat all over. One commonly-used metric is BMI (Body-Mass Index). When I was "obese" (i.e. had a lot of fat to lose), it was an excellent metric to measure my progress. The problem with using BMI now is that not all mass is created equal. To get abs, you need muscle mass and not fat mass. You need a low BF% (Body-Fat Percentage).


Now, even after two rounds of Insanity, ChaLEAN Extreme, and a few other random regimens here and there, I'm still between 16 and 18% (BF% is really tough to calculate without a caliper, but there are decent - albeit inconsistent - tape-measure calculation methods out there). 16 - 18% isn't BAD... in fact, it's comfortably in the "Average" range, but after some research, it seems that most men start to see abs around the 10%-mark. Let's give this a shot:

"I want increase ab-visibility by reaching a BF% of 10%."

Close, but I'm still missing something... It's not Time-bound. I want to set a reasonable date to achieve this goal, but not too relaxed so as to reduce the sense of urgency. June 1st, 2012 is not only reasonable, but Relevant (swim-suit season). Now we have it:

"I want increase ab-visibility by reaching a BF% of 10% by June 1st, 2012."

I think that's a mighty-fine goal, and I hearby adopt it as my own.

Ah yes... There's one more ridiculously important step in this process: Disclosure. Unless you make your goals known beyond the boundaries of your own cranium, you can start to lose accountability and find ways to bend the rules so I can escape the sweat, ache, and stink. -- I mean "you." YOU would do that, not me...

<.<
  o

When you publicly put yourself on the line, the people you tell become your involuntary support group. Whether they cheer you on or not (they probably won't) you'll still be obligated to follow through.

-- May the Force Be With You --

 So now it's your turn. Where are you today and where do you want to be? Do you want to lose weight? Are you looking for a little more muscle definition? Maybe you just want to be able to run a mile without stopping, or best your friends in a pull-up competition?

Figure out what your goals are. Be Specific. Make sure it's Measurable. Despite your wild aspirations, make sure it's Attainable and Relevant. Set a Timeline to keep yourself accountable, and lastly, TELL EVERYONE YOU KNOW.

-Clive

(More on S.M.A.R.T. goals from Wikipedia.)

Clive's Theory of Distractability

In my week "off" following ChaLEAN Extreme, I was feeling fat and sluggish, so I did some serious treadmill time.

I've never had huge success with the treadmill. Nevertheless, I own one now and use it occasionally. My problem is that since I decide when to start/stop, and what pace to go, I end up wimping out before I actually get a good workout. I've slowly started to pick up on something, though...

When I first began using the treadmill, I would watch a tiny TV, which didn't have a built-in guide, so I would have to guess what was on, and channel surf until I found something even remotely interesting. This was usually never, especially on Wednesdays when it was Tyler Perry's Wednesday nights with Tyler Perry on TBS. Treadmill-time was mostly torture and I couldn't wait to be finished.

More recently (since ownership of my own treadmill), I've had the opportunity to watch a larger, nicer TV with a DVR, so I could always record my own shows, and more-frequently find something I'd like to watch. Still, commercials proved problematic. I'd quickly come back to the realization that, dammit, I was on a treadmill and I'd either have to try to switch stations or fast-forward. I wanted something that I could escape into a little deeper.

Last week, I had a break-through... an awesome discovery, which I call "Clive's Theory of Distractability." C-ToD states:

"The greater extent to which one can distract one's self whilst exercising, the greater the resulting caloric burn."

My optimal element of distractability? Video games. It seems so obvious now that I can't believe I didn't think of it earlier. I get to choose the entertainment, so I'm not at the mercy of 3rd-party programing, and best of all, THERE ARE NO COMMERCIALS. I played all sorts of "New Super Mario Bros Wii" as well as emulated old-skool games, but, of course, you can pick your faves. Anything that doesn't involve substantial wii-mote pointing or movement works, otherwise your exercise might confuse the poor wii-mote. Also, I found it much easier to crank the treadmill up to a steep grade (20%) and just walk it instead of trying to run or jog.


Using this method, I was EASILY able to do away with 700 to 1000 calories/night. I did, however, stumble upon a corollary to C-ToD...

C-ToD Corollary 1: "Treadmill distraction can lead to over-use, and result in bruised feet."

Yes. Bruised feet. I have never - EVER - in my life even heard of bruised feet, much less had them... and, DAMN, do they hurt. If you happen to use your feet at all (which I'm guessing is 99.99% of the people who own treadmills) you're constantly stepping on your bruises, which not only KILLS, but it slows the healing process.

Regardless, I HIGHLY recommend the video game application of C-ToD to any nerd having trouble exercising. Even if you don't own a treadmill, I could see bringing a DS to the gym particularly successful. (BTW, is it bad that I'm tempted to buy a 3DS for the sake of playing "Mario Land 3D" only?)

So what's your optimal element of distraction? Do you have any further corollaries to the C-ToD?

Until next time, n3rds!

-Clive

ChaLEAN Extreme, Month 3 (LEAN Phase) in Review

(Check out the Month 1 (BURN Phase) Review)
(Check out the Month 2 (PUSH Phase) Review)

So here it is! Month 3 of ChaLEAN Extreme. Were there any big surprises? Well, yes and no. The format was the same (three days of weight training, one day of Cardio + Abs, and one day of Cardio + yoga) but the difficulty was ramped up significantly. Like. A lot.

For one, the weight training portions REALLY focused on the arms. Sure, there were some compound movements (arms and legs) but each routine made sure to hit your arms in some way. And there were push-ups. Lots of push-ups. Push-ups on their own don't really bother me. But when you try to do them ridiculously slow after already fatiguing your arms with other routines...It's a challenge. But challenge is good! We want challenge. Similarly to Insanity, "failure" is success.

Like in Month 1, each routine is back to 12 reps, but Chalene really wants you to fail anytime after 10 reps. And remember in Month 2's review, when I complained about the "Extreme" reps at the end of the last few routines? Well, you'll be doing these extra slow, extra painful bonus reps at the end of EVERY routine in Month 3.

The weight training isn't the only thing that's gotten an increase in difficulty this month. The mid-week Cardio routine (which, if you remember from Month 1's review, has some weights intermixed throughout the workout) is very challenging. I've been using the resistance bands with ChaLEAN Extreme, and those things make this exercise really tough. Resistance bands, unlike free weights, increase in resistance the further you extend them. It just so happens that there are a LOT of long-extension routines in this workout. I've been starting out with the red (~12lb) band, and on occasion switching down to the green (~8lb) band. Keep in mind, that at a 3x stretch, the "~12lb" band is closer to 20lbs, and if you're using the band with both ends in one hand, multiply that by two again...

Donna (60 years old) put me to shame several times during ChaLEAN Extreme.

The end-of-week Cardio routine was also a lot tougher than previous months, and after the first time doing it, my legs KILLED the next day. (Apparently those muscles had yet to be used throughout ChaLEAN Extreme?)

Once again, I replaced the "pseudo-yoga" with an additional ab routine. This one was called "I've Got Abs," but in all honestly, it was probably on-par, if not easier than the previous month's ab routine. Nevertheless, it's important to switch up your routines so your body doesn't get accustomed to a certain regimen and plateau.

So, overall, what did I think?

I think ChaLEAN Extreme is a great introduction to weight training. While I definitely feel more shapely and toned, I probably didn't get the most out of the routine due to personal hiccups and holiday distractions. It's a challenging time of year to maintain a workout regimen. As exercise is apt to do, ChaLEAN Extreme really started to drive my hunger. That's a problem when Thanksgiving leftovers and Christmas cookies are lying around. The advantage of doing a cardio routine is that you burn more of those calories during your workouts. With weight training, you just get hungry but don't burn as much. (That was my experience, anyway.) That means you need to be incredibly careful about what you're putting in to your body. That's my weakness. As I've mentioned at least once, I love food. Especially Chipotle. Moving on.

The other thing is that the regimen is clearly aimed at women. I mean, they have a token male (like many regimens do) but it seemed like the entire time Chalene was talking about fitting into your jeans or bikini, or impressing the boys at your high school reunion. Her chatter doesn't really bother me much, but I could see how it could be annoying to some.

Overall, this is a great workout for those looking for something that isn't too intense, but will keep you working out. If you're curious about weight training, I'd definitely give it a go. If you don't have free weights and don't want to spend a lot of money, try those resistance bands - they're cheap and travel-friendly!

That's all for now... Until next time, nerds!

-Clive