Christmas

 Exercising during the holidays is mostly futile.

I pretty much ate like crap.

ChaLEAN month 3 review coming this week!

-Clive

ChaLEAN Extreme... Almost there

Starting my last week of ChaLEAN Extreme........

My appetite is off the charts, which is actually kind of annoying. I'm gaining weight but at least my inches are relatively flat. I'm not sure how to control the new hunger. I know I need to eat, but the hard part is eating right....

ughh....

-Clive

ChaLEAN Extreme, Month 2 (PUSH Phase) in Review

(Check out the Month 1 (BURN Phase) Review)


Heya n3rds!

Before I get into this review, I do want to disclose that I had a bit of a personal hiccup, which set me way off course. I was nearly through month 2, and, long story short, it was a good three weeks before I bothered to start exercising again, and most of that time was re-acclimating myself to the program and exercise in general. It sounds ridiculous to say that... It was only three weeks, but, man, I was really off my game. It took me some "slow" weeks with treadmill to supplement, but I finally managed to eke out Month 2. Oh yeah, and finish that Month 1 blog entry. If only I had finished building that Flux Capacitor a few weeks sooner!

So what was Month 2 like? Well, the format was the same: three days of Weight Training, one of Cardio + Abs, and one of Cardio + Yoga. The weight training segments were a little different though: I was pleased to learn that the number of reps per set was reduced from twelve to eight. Sounds easy, right? Okay, well, Chalene DID encourage us to use heavier weights since we'd have fewer reps. That's fair, right? .........Right?

So after you blow your guns a few times trying to fail by the time you reach eight reps, Chalene starts pulling out these "EXTREME" bonus reps. Three more, extra slow, extra painful reps on your already spent limbs. Hence the name "ChaLEAN Extreme," I suppose. Chalene, you are a cunning devil.

As it was now the "PUSH Phase," I made a concerted effort to increase the weight I lifted each week. Again, since I was using resistance bands, the tracking wasn't 100% precise, but I used the estimated "weight" of a 2x stretch for the record-keeping in my guide-book. As much as Chalene annoyingly reminds you, it really is important to use the guide-book. You'll be doing so many different lifts each month, you won't remember what weight you used last time, and, thus, won't be able to challenge yourself to better in subsequent weeks. Remember what we covered in Month 1: Additional muscle is most effective at burning fat if you find some way to fatigue those new guns, so you really do need to increase your weight over time.

Since I did fall off the wagon for a few weeks, my progress from the end of Month 1 to the end of Month 2 was not as pronounced as I hoped it would be. Nevertheless, I did substantially increase the amount I lifted in each of the routines by the end of the month. And boy am I glad I got the resistance bands that I did... There are some lifts where I need three bands to keep it challenging. Sorry, Beachbody, I love you guys, but you just can't do that with your bands.

In the spirit of keeping things challenging, I've been modifying the "curriculum" a bit. I was feeling a little under-challenged by "Ab Burners" so I started doing "Extreme Abs" a couple weeks early. And I've also made a habit out of exchanging the pseudo-yoga portion with another abs workout. I just feel better after doing abs than I do after doing the "yoga." It's probably not the most balanced thing to do, especially since my flexibility is pretty awful... but I can focus more on flexibility some other day. As for now, I care more about abs.

Alright, what else can I say about Month 2 of ChaLEAN Extreme? Oh yeah...

Chalene, your boots in PUSH Circuit 3 are an abomination. I'm no fashion guru, but you look like an 90s professional wrestler...

That is all.


(Check out the Month 3 (LEAN Phase) Review)

-Clive

Thanksgiving Remorse

I always eat too much.

Then I work out every day for the next two weeks.

-Clive

[NERD ALERT] GTA:V -- Five Keys to Five's Success

(I write about non-fitness topics on my main blog, The Clive at Five Post. That blog contains nerdy ramblings inappropriate for F1t-N3rd, but for those interested, I will post short previews of some articles of potential interest.)

GTA is on a cold streak, IMO. San Andreas was filled with bloat... working out, hair-dos, tattoos, gang territory, and don't even get me started on the jet-pack. Senseless gimmickry and filler. And I'm gonna say it... I was pretty disappointed in GTA IV. Niko was a snore. The "acting" was forced. The story was incredibly disjointed. The "villains" were not well established. Overall, it was just too big for its own good.

(Read More....)

ChaLEAN Extreme, Month 1 (BURN Phase) in Review

(I have more reviews to post from past workouts, but I figured I'd put this one out there while it's still fresh and finish up the rest later.)

Hey, nerds,

So, as you may know, I recently started ChaLEAN Extreme, and I thought I'd let you know how it was going.

First a little about the program: The core principle of ChaLEAN Extreme is that "Muscle Burns Fat." Chalene presents this as some sort of a newly-discovered workout revolution, but it is nothing of a secret. When you work out - whether it's cardio or weight training - your body (namely your muscles) become exhausted. It repairs and replenishes itself by using the energy it can find hanging around. So long as you're maintaining a healthy calorie deficit (use DailyBurn to find this out), your body is forced to look to your stored energy (fat cells) for replenishment. The more muscle you have, the more potential repairs your body will have to undergo and the more potential fat you can burn. (I say "potential," because if your muscles grow and your exercise routine does not, you don't burn any incremental fat. You have to exhaust those new muscles as well.)

ChaLEAN Extreme is a fusion of Weight Training and Cardio. The program is about 90-days, broken up into three 4-week sections (BURN phase, PUSH phase, & LEAN phase). Each week is comprised of three days of weight-training, one day of Cardio + Abs, and one day of Cardio + pseudo-yoga. That means you get TWO DAYS OFF per week! This last part was enough to convince me to jump happily aboard. I hate commitment since I'm a busy guy, but when I can rearrange my workouts to match my schedule, I'm a happy nerd.

Since Weight Training is a core aspect of this regimen, you will need some form of resistence. This could be free weights, adjustable dumbells, or resistance bands. For simplicity's sake, I think the adjustable weights are probably the ideal solution, but most people don't have $300+ to spend on a nice pair of adjustables -- especially when you just spent ~$100 on a DVD workout regimen, amirite?

I elected to go for a modest set of resistance bands. I did NOT get the BeachBody-approved set. They have an integrated handle on every band a handle limited to a single band, meaning doubling them up would be a major pain. In effect, I would perpetually be limited to the resistence of the "heaviest" band (granted you can purchase bands up to 40lbs). Instead, I got a set with bands that clip to a ring on the handles. That way, as I get stronger, I can clip on more bands. THIS WORKS WELL (full review later). It's not the perfect solution - there are some moves that begin and end close to your feet (you stand on the bands) and you lose nearly all resistence at that point. I've learned to modify some moves to keep the resistence appropriate. Another drawback is that the resistence is variable, depending on how far you stretch the band. This means tracking will be imprecise. The manufacturer provides approximate weight ranges for a typical 2x-length stretch, but, again, it's not exact. Now, I'm not too picky about that kind of stuff, but if I ever get to the point where I'm seriously pumping iron (unlikely) I will want to have a set of adjustables. In the meantime, these bands are pretty great: They're lightweight, they travel well, and they only set me back about 25 clams. They take a little getting used to, they're a bit slower to change than weights, and if you work out shoeless like me, you'll be surprised at how much they pinch your feet. Still, it's a small price to pay for the money you save over conventional weights.

Now, the workouts: The Weight Training routines last about 35 minutes. So far, in the burn month, they aren't too intense. I mean, my muscles get fatigued after a set of reps, but it's nothing like doing the all-out cardio of Insanity. I actually finish feeling rather relaxed. The cardio + abs workout, on the other hand, is INTENSE. Not like Insanity intense, but there's just enough weight training to fatigue your muscles... then you have to DO CARDIO on your spent limbs! It's actually fairly cruel. The abs workout is challenging in that it utilizes weights in some of the moves. I was unable to modify this with resistance bands, but luckily, I had a couple of 5lb dumbbells I could use. The cardio + pseudo-yoga is pretty un-rewarding in my honest opinion, and I have occassionally replaced the yoga portion with an abs workout depending on my mood.

So far, so good, overall. Chalene's voice is a *little* grating, and she's almost too perky at points... but I'm a guy and I don't really go for perky. I can certainly look past it and it doesn't detract from the content of the workout.

Catch you guys soon with another update!


(Check out the Month 2 (PUSH Phase) Review)
(Check out the Month 3 (LEAN Phase) Review)

-Clive

Less of a Fatty, Part 1 - Getting Started

I've decided to start a series of fitness blogs. These are mostly for me, to keep myself accountable, but instead of just aimlessly typing, I figured I'd at least try to give it some sort of greater purpose.

The "Less of a Fatty" series (which I've decided to call these) is aimed at being a source of information and encouragement for those looking to start getting involved in personal fitness. Similarly to the original "How I Became Less of a Fatty" post last fall, these will have more of a "personal journal" style, from the point of view of a fitness novice... me. Unfortunately, I realize that the deeper I get into my own personal fitness journey, the less I will be able to use my first-hand accounts to represent other novices. Nevertheless, I will always strive to keep these posts aimed at beginners / the fitness-curious.

And of course, the contents of any blog, including this one, represent the opinions of the author, and should not necessarily be taken as "actual advice" or worse, "fact." As they say, your mileage may vary.

--For those new to "Less of a Fatty..."--

...a little background first. (Don't worry, not every post will begin with a sob story. ;) )

In my younger years, I had always been a little bit on the heavier side, but it wasn't until college and the freshman "15" - hah - that my weight slowly started to steamroll... pun completely intended. I knew I had gained weight, but I didn't make the realization of how large I was until several years later. I was taken aback by a photo from my then-recent honeymoon: Chipmunk cheeks, double-chin, sunken, tired eyes... I was fat.

Weighing 240 pounds, I had a BMI of nearly 32, which is "obese." Like I mentioned in "Part 0," the medical matter-of-fact-ness of the word "obese" slices a little deeper than simply calling myself fat. Though I'm no longer "obese," I'm admittedly still a little jaded about that aspect of my past, so in the style of my typical defense mechanism, almighty sarcasm, I have an unbreakable habit of putting that word in quotes as part of my (feeble) attempts to make it less official. But it was.

I knew I wanted to change something, but I didn't really know what. I was far from the fitness-type, so exercise was not at the top of my list. Instead, I began to make small, incremental changes to my diet, like substituting diet soda and paying extra attention to my portion sizes. Progress was slow, but it was progress. Over time, I started to incorporate mild exercise (in the form of the accursed Wii Fit), which grew into moderate, more frequent exercise, which grew into, well, doing Insanity.

--Baby Steps--

Looking back, I am now firmly convinced that this slow methodical approach is what made all the difference, contrary to my trial-by-fire recommendations in Part 0. So many beginners set goals like, "I'm going to lose X pounds in Y weeks." While we are understandably impatient to lose the weight, we are ultimately setting ourselves up for failure. The problem with diets and intermittent exercise is that they aren't permanent. You can't change your body with temporary behavior. Your physiology is simply more resilient than you and while you might have the upper hand for the duration of the diet, your physiology will win the moment you stop. The only way to overcome your body is to make healthier choices "business as usual."

Even if one realizes this, there is still the impulse to change everything at once: "I'm going to start getting up at 5:00am to exercise, I'm going to eat 5 small meals a day, take the stairs, drink protein shakes, count calories..." etc. For most people, that is waaay too much to undertake at once. They eventually get overloaded, frustrated, and they quit. Instead, I recommend starting with a single small change and incorporating it into your "business as usual." Once that change is internalized, take on something else. Patience is a very good thing to have when losing weight!

In retrospect, doing Insanity was far from a seat-of-my-pants decision, as much as I may have made it sound like one in Part 0. I had already undertaken changes in my diet and had been "running" on the treadmill fairly regularly. Though it was a huge change in my _exercise_ regimen, it was one that I had built up to and was ready for. I absolutely would not have had as much success with Insanity had I tried it at my heaviest, 240 pounds, having never exercised before in my life.

So (in my very unprofessional opinion) the two most important things are - 1 - to set small, tangible goals, and - 2 - to be patient.

And of course, since I'm not an expert by any stretch of the imagination, - 3 - take everything I say with a grain of salt! What worked for me might not work for you!

The next entry is going to follow this one shortly, so if you haven't read Part 0 yet, you may want to do that now so you're up to speed. For the rest of you, stay tuned for Part 2!

-Clive

How I Became Less of a Fatty: "Insanity" (the workout)

Original post, Nov 11th 2010

     --Background: Another Fat Kid's Sob Story--

Two years ago, I saw a photo of myself that leveled me: I had gotten fat. I have always been a little bulky, which I've defensively described as "being on the heavier side of skinny," but look at this guy... does he look remotely skinny to you? No, this guy is "Skinny's" cousin "Chunky" who ATE Skinny. That was at ~240lbs. I wasn't just "heavier" anymore. With a BMI of 32, medically, I was "obese."

People always try to make excuses for why they're overweight - often blaming their eating on depression or boredom - but I'm not going to make any excuses. I know exactly why I was "obese": because I love food. For me, eating something amazing is just as profound of an experience as seeing a beautiful vista, or listening to a great piece of music. It's almost a religious experience. So even though my weight was a direct result of snacking, soda, large portion sizes and finishing my plate even when I was already full, I rarely ever eat on auto-pilot like some of my chubby counterparts out there. I actually enjoyed every bite. And to be fair, I still love food. I just was tired of the eternal struggle between eating delicious things and looking like I eat delicious things. So I decided to start making a conscious effort to limit my "religious experiences." By cutting down my portion sizes and substituting diet soda, I began making steady, slow -- like, molasses-slow -- progress towards losing weight.

Here's the next year. I'm about 10 pounds lighter, not that you can really tell because I was still "obese." (I use that term in quotes, by the way, as a matter of denial. I can easily call myself a "fat-ass" and not be phased by it, but "obese" is so knife-in-the-heart matter-of-fact, it's difficult for me to out-rightly admit - QQ more, right?)

I got a Wii Fit for Christmas, who wasn't ashamed at all to tell me how "obese" I was. "That's Obese!" it would remark, cheerfully. I'll tell you, that thing was such a smug little bastard, I had vivid fantasies about introducing it to an asphalt compactor. Nevertheless, after doing Wii Fit for a few months, I was (at last) no longer "obese" ... Now settle down, it wasn't really THAT much of an accomplishment -- I had only lost about 5 more pounds. Now, instead of being "Obese," Wii Fit delighted in telling me I was "Overweight." Let me just say that for all intents and purposes, as a fitness device, Wii Fit fails. As a frustration-inducing, under-handed motivational tool, it works: Wii Fit drove me psychotic. I began maliciously plotting how to beat that pompous, giggling board... but what could I do to accelerate my weight-loss?

I decided to start running on a treadmill. Well - by "running," I mean 5 minutes of stumbling wildly and gasping for air, followed by 10 minutes of laying in the fetal position, clutching my chest. Though unconventional, this method worked, and after several more months (and some improvement in my form), I had managed to lose another 10 pounds. (Like I said, my journey has been slow.) By this time, however, I was moving out of the apartment, which meant I would be losing access to the treadmill. I had to find a new way to show Wii Fit who was boss.

     --"Insanity": a Method to the Madness--

One pathetic night, I was sitting on the couch, and an infomercial came on. It was for a workout regimen called "Insanity." It was allegedly the most difficult workout routine ever put on DVD. It's uniqueness was in its "Max Interval Training:" long durations of high-endurance exercise followed by short periods of recovery - the opposite of most workouts. Something about this workout lured me in. It seemed so fiendishly challenging, so insurmountable and wickedly evil.

It is.

Now those of you who know me, know that I am far from being a fitness professional, and you might be thinking, "I'm in much better shape than Cousin Chunky over there, so it's probably not that hard." Hey, I wouldn't blame you for thinking that... but be sure to invite me over for your first Fit Test so that I can enjoy watching you fail miserably. Why am I so smugly sure of your impending defeat? Because "Insanity" is just as hard (if not harder) on seasoned fitnophiles as it is on beginners (more on this later).

My very first day - the wretched "Fit Test" of which I spoke - was a truly humbling experience. I watched as the svelte, agile, toned individuals in the video struggled to do a single workout for a whole 60 seconds. I'm completely serious. The people in the video (one who had already completed the ~60-day "Insanity" program and the other, a fitness professional) couldn't even do it. If the people IN the video couldn't do it, what do you think happened to Cousin Chunky? Wii Fit was cackling maniacally at me while I was laying on the ground, feeling sensations somewhere between fainting and puking. I remind you, this was Day 1: the freaking FIT TEST!

Though discouraging at first, I slowly learned that the object of "Insanity" is not to succeed at the workouts. "Success" in the traditional sense is impossible, even for the most fit individuals, including the program's creator, Shaun T. "Insanity" seeks to wring every ounce of juice out of you - and once you're depleted, it asks for another quart. 

Achieving a never-before-imagined sense of exhaustion is what measures "success." That is why "Insanity" is an equal-opportunity regimen: it forces people of all fitness levels to push themselves beyond what they think their limit is. Anyone - even Cousin Chunky - can "succeed" at "Insanity." That's not to say, of course, that everyone will. The deciding factor, and by far the most difficult aspect of "Insanity," is not the physical aspect, but the mental aspect. It requires that you ignore your brain - even when it is screaming at you to STOP! This being the case, "Insanity" is the perfect workout for two types of people: 1) the fitness idiot who has no brain to ignore, or 2) one who is truly so disciplined and motivated that he/she is indeed able to meet the challenge of Insanity and transcend his or her brain.

If you are not one of these two types, "Insanity" is not for you.

That established, however, I think everyone interested in changing their body should give "Insanity" a try, and here's why: While I firmly believe that everybody is physically capable of getting in shape, actualizing it is a matter of motivation. "Insanity" is the ultimate litmus test for those wondering if they are ready and capable of achieving the change they are ultimately looking for.

Since starting "Insanity," I have watched countless depressing YouTube diaries of people who began a fitness program ("Insanity" included), did it for a few weeks, and then quit. I am just as guilty as all of them for being woefully unmotivated at times, but there's a point at which one's desire for change overcomes one's lack of motivation. Until one arrives at this point, they are not going to see the results they want, no matter what workout they try. (Again, I've spent most of my adult life in this category, so I'm certainly not pointing any fingers here.)

The simple fact is this: In order to get from point A to point B, you have to travel a certain distance. Period. The single biggest hurdle is acknowledging this. For a lot of us, that distance is huge and the true scope of what is required to achieve the change desired is unknown... but once you commit, the follow-through seems to happen automatically. It probably won't even matter what exercise regimen you do, you will eventually reach that goal. Some regimens will be faster, some will be slower, some will be more enjoyable and some will suck. I'm willing to bet that, for most people, "Insanity" represents the shortest route between those two points... but for people who, like me, hate working out, IT SUCKS!!! That's not what matters though. If you have the motivation to overcome your body, you can - and will - succeed at "Insanity." If you do not, you'll find out quickly!

For those who do take the plunge, you won't be alone. Beachbody, the company that sells "Insanity" (amongst many other fitness products) has an elaborate support website, "WOWY," where you can track your progress, find a workout buddy, etc., but I highly recommend finding a non-virtual workout buddy, so you can freely bitch about how terrible "Insanity" is with someone you know. You will need to.

You'll also find a lot of positive encouragement during the workouts from Shaun T. He is constantly urging you to keep going just a few more seconds, a few more reps, just a little faster. It's agonizing, it's torturous, but somehow, he keeps you (and his insane crew) moving. It's also strangely inspiring to see the crew collapsing from exhaustion -- yes they are human, too -- or when they team up to pump out eight more reps, and despite being so damn tired you thought couldn't do any more, you might just find yourself matching their eight. But even those with the will to complete "Insanity" will be challenged. It "only" lasts 63 days (one of the regimen's major selling points) but it is a GRUELING 63 days.

     --The Human Massacres Workouts--

(Brilliant image from:
dysfunctionalparrot.com/2009/
08/10/review-insanity/)

The first month is comprised of four rotating 30 - 40 minute workouts. These workouts are terrifyingly difficult, especially for someone who doesn't exercise regularly. Each workout is guaranteed to turn you into a human sweat-sprinkler. I'm not going to lie, it's gross... but it's easy to tell it's working. The first two workouts are Interval Circuits (subscribing to the "Max Interval Training" methodology, described earlier). The third (and arguably the most difficult) workout is "Pure Cardio," which is non-stop from start to finish. It doesn't even ramp up over time. It's just boom - you're in it, and you're stuck there for the next half hour. Sure, you can stop and rest if you absolutely need to, but there's no pre-determined rest interval, and you feel obligated to get back into the workout as soon as possible. Half-way through the month, you meet the fourth workout, an ab-targeting routine performed immediately following "Pure Cardio." Though agonizing, this pair-up is easily the most rewarding workout of Month 1, if not the entire program. Each week has five days of "regular" workouts, one day for the "Recovery" workout (which, be forewarned, is not much of a recovery at all), and one day of rest.

After Month 1 (four weeks), there is a "Recovery Week" - which again, is a little lighter, but still not much of a recovery. Then comes the true test: Month 2. If you thought Month 1 was terrifying, prepare for a truly epic ass-kicking of a lifetime. These workouts are, on average, 20 minutes longer, and even more grueling! The weekly schedule is the same: one "recovery" day and one day of rest, with ab-targeting workouts beginning a couple weeks in. That means some days you will be working out for well over an hour. The time-commitment required is extraordinary and for those with busy schedules, it will be almost impossible to stick to the calendar (I was able to finish in ten weeks as opposed to the program's nine). Again, though, despite a busy schedule, the real challenge wasn't time. It was the mental achievement of hitting the 'play' button night after night, knowing that you will be busting your ass for the next hour-plus. It's hard the first month, but by the second month, I was constantly achy, constantly tired, and constantly less motivated to finish. THIS IS WHY YOU NEED A WORKOUT BUDDY! I can't stress this enough. Sometimes will-power alone is not enough and you need the obligation of keeping up with your workout buddy when you are feeling weak and lazy. This resource is invaluable!

If all goes according to plan, you'll re-take the "Fit Test" every other week, recording your results so you can see how you've progressed.

     --My Results--

So the proof is in the pudding, they say, and there's much less pudding hanging around me now than there was 63 days ago. Yes, I have photographic evidence so now would be a good time to shield your young children's eyes.

Numerically, you can see my inches going down, and my Fit Test reps going up:

Graphically, you can also see good things, weight & inches going down, reps going up:

--Over All--

--Fit Test Reps--

--Inches--

I "only" lost about 10 pounds, but the pictures show how much my body-shape changed. I started out a weakling - like, ant-hills for muscles. Now I have a little bit more meat, so I'll just chalk some of the "pounds not lost" to muscles gained. That's fair, right? I lost three inches around my waist. My pants are way too big, and are falling off. I have a belt that used to fit, but I had to drill a new hole in it. Even the jeans that used to be my "skinny" jeans are too big! I am now 10 pounds away from my short-term goal, which is a "Normal" BMI. My longer-term goal is a BMI of 22 - right smack in the middle of the "Normal" range. This will be at a weight of ~160 lbs, a total loss of 80 lbs, (that would be down 33% from my top weight, for you numerical nerds out there).

No, I'm not going for a chiseled bod or anything. Like I said before, I'm tired of having to choose between eating delicious things and looking like it. "Insanity" is helping me get down to a normal size using the "rip-the-band-aid-off," quick and painful method. My results thus far say all that needs to be said about its effectiveness! I'm the lightest I've been since freshman year of college, and still losing.

Now that I've done my first round of "Insanity," I'm going to ease up a little - my body and mind need time to recuperate. In its place, I'm trying one of Shaun T's other programs "Hip Hop Abs" to target my mid-section. I know, I know... you can't target areas to burn fat. Hell, I don't even like Hip Hop, so why I'm doing "HHA" over something else, I'm not entirely sure. I will let you know how it goes, however, while I recuperate for my next run at "Insanity."

And as for you, if you're at all considering losing weight, shaping up, or if you're looking for a different workout regimen, seriously consider "Insanity." It is a beast, and it WILL kick your ass, but if you stick with it, you WILL get amazing results.

-Clive

Introducing.........

-Clive